What You Will Love In Paris
(With or Without Kids)

Read on, Day Tripper! . . .

The flight from Newark is grueling.You sit upright for an eight-and-a-half hour flight that departs at 8 pm at the end of your last long work day and arrives in the sparkling Paris sunshine at 8:30 am the next local first morning of your vacation. (Rodan says the twelve hour flight from San Francisco completely strangles bodily functions of both the higher and lower orders.) You’ve been practicing your nearly 30-year-old, West Orange Mountain High School French on the smirking children for three weeks and now all you can think to say is, "Ca c’est un bonne lit!" (Translation: "Hey now, this works as a bed for me!") Your stomach and your in-laws are growling. The calculator you brought to help convert francs to dollars appears to be malfunctioning: the sign over there announces a sale on bars of soap -- $7 for two!

• (No malfunction, mon ami. Everything in Paris is ridiculously overpriced. Everything, that is, except for tickets for seats high up in the old Opera House (an incredible piece of human, artistic, and architectural history for only $16 -- no Phantom in sight, though, c’est domage!). Wine is relatively cheap, of course: du vin is the life blood of the French). Surprisingly, the World Wide Web is affordable, too. An hour on Ze Internet at The Web Bar is only $6 -- you use their computer, have a great lunch menu available, and, of course, du vin or some other beverage of choice. Unfortunately, that’s just about it.)

So, now it is early evening. The children are less grouchy. Hungry, to be sure, and, although they are still inadvertently walking "Leave-It-To-Beaver"-style, they are also wired beyond measure. Now what?

Well, you are in Paris. That means that there is something cool to see or do for free on virtually every corner. But, if you want to set the reality hook too deeply right away (a good decision, Dad), take the Metro -- Paris’s mostly underground subway system - someplace everyone will recognize as belonging to this beautiful city. Go to Notre Dame. Or head for that stark sparkling skeleton, the Eifel Tower, and let it draw you down the steps from the Palais de Charlot way up at one end of the Trocadero (a good place to toss a ball around -- see below). Or simply head to Booool Meeeesh as the Boulevard St. Michel in the 5th arrondisement is called these days. Walk along the Left Bank of the Seine past the block-long lines of vendors with their old wooden cabinet-like displays of art souvenirs, magazines, original prints, and actual etchings recently "liberated" from old books. Not too shabby a first day in Paris, eh? To end the day grab a light bite at any Brasserie/Bar you think you can afford and then try to get the group to bed early. Oh, yes: definitely set the alarm . . . you’ll sleep past noon otherwise and it is going to take a while to get a group your size going anyway.

If it is your first time in Paris, make sure to mix serious and frivolous sight-seeing. True, there are museums, historical sites, and churches you’ll never see in Millburn, but the human spirit is a many-faceted thing. Remember Max’s warning concerning the USDA food pyramid: the chocolate chip group is totally missing! A good mix of high- and low-brow touristing seems perfect for keeping the family functioning sanely. You are likely to maintain a reasonable sense of humor and -- this above all -- keep the focus on having fun. For this reason, the Day Tripper list of recommended forays mixes indoor and outdoor activities, cultural stops, and foolishness. Weave into the trip your own stumbling, bumbling sense of discovery. That will help to make Paris your city, too.

The Museums . . .

• The Louvre tops it, of course. You can spend a week inside and not see it all . . . but that’s not the point. You are going to see stuff you are unlikely to encounter anywhere else: the Mona Lisa is inside (encased in a glass box, of course) and IM Pei’s glass pyramid entrance is outside. Ria and Erica ran into some of the cast of "Friends" the day they were there, but I don't think they are part of the permanent collection.
• Musee Picasso is somewhat small, and hardly exhaustive, but offers a wonderfully complete trajectory of the artist’s career with special emphasis on particular periods -- and the written information is in English as well as French.
• Musee Rodin -- my favorite, by the way -- has the largest collection of Rodin’s sculptures in the world. They’ve opened a new building since I was there last that features changing exhibits on loan from other museums. Just about every well-known work of Rodin’s is set out in the extensive gardens in an understated -- perfect for contemplation -- setting. While you are contemplating The Thinker, Balzac, The Gates of Hell, The Burghers of Calais and all the rest, consider what it says about Parisians to have ceded a individual artist with so much urban real estate.
• Cluny offers a glimpse of ancient Paris. The small courtyard at the entrance is almost entirely enclosed and paved all out of kilter with old cobblestones. It is, not surprisingly, a great place to toss a ball around (see below). There is a tour elsewhere of Les Egouts -- the sewers of Paris -- which sounds incredible, but I’ve yet to take it.
• The ten-year-old Musee D’Orsay has a catalogue of 19th century European art that is absolutely incomparable. The setting for the museum is the former Gare d’Orsay -- a railway station that grew too small for modern trains -- and is no less spectacular than the artwork the museum contains. The kids will probably never see such a wide range of engaging sculpture from the bronze elephants at the courtyard entrance to the marble polar bear inside. Also, small children will get a kick out of crawling across the glass floor set over a scale model of Paris. Nearby is a fascinating display of working models of various theaters. The place is just jam packed with great art. A definite not-to-miss museum.
• Last, but certainly not least is the Centre Pompidou -- known in Paris as "Beaubourg" after the area in which it was built in 1977. Beaubourg is the largest venue for 20th century art in Paris. You know as you approach that this is something entirely different. The exterior sports a brilliantly colored HVAC system as art and the long, industrial gangway entrance is like a giant tinkertoy stairway built for fun. The "courtyard" is sloping and cobblestoned -- perfect for throwing a pinky ball with Max while the rest of the gang viewed the interior sights.

Other Makeshift Ballparks

• Notre Dame Cathedral. Across from the entrance, the expanse is partly sand, partly cobblestoned, partly paved. A great mix for crazy bounces and for outraging the locals. Actually, you don’t see too many locals -- the place is packed with tourists, though, and the kind of wonderful human flotsam such places attract in Paris. Last time we were in Paris, Max and I watched a clown ride bicycles of various types and sizes including giant unicycles and a bicycle the size of a child’s sneaker. Meanwhile, Ria paid 10 francs to have an Asian girl pen a friend’s name on a grain of rice that was encased in a small, clear pendant. This time, while Max and I played, Erica resisted the advances of a young Frenchman who swore that his entire life had led directly to the moment he saw her and would she have pity on him and let him take her for dinner and show her le vrai Paris?
• Place des Voges. This unusual square block of park with three sides of small, but very exclusive shops is perfect for ball throwing . . . except you have to stay off the grass -- seriously! Never mind, there’s plenty of hardscrabble sand pathway and the gendarme (le flic -- policeman) will be so unnerved by the ball playing, he’ll probably arrest some poor students trying to play tag among the precisely planted trees lining the perimeter of the square. Max and I hung around with a street artist who sketched fantastic birdlike creatures on napkins, placemats, envelopes, and other stolen scraps of paper. Walk past Jed through an opening in the square and into another interior courtyard and you’ll find yourself behind the Hotel de Sully. The back door leads to an art gallery that winds down several levels and has rooms laid out in a pattern you’d never be able to sketch from memory.
• The Basilica of Sacre Coeur. The hundreds of steps leading past tiered flower beds end at the entrance of one of the most beautiful churches I’ve ever seen. You may think it is a monument to God, but it speaks to me of the majesty of human spirit. The ball playing is better at the bottom, though -- next to an old, but still operating, calliope merry-go-round.
• The Eifel Tower. I know, sacrilege. But, really, playing ball under the towering structure is almost as much fun as taking the funiculaire to the top. The elevator, by the way, rises at an angle for much of its climb, making for a very unusual set of sensations. It is windy up at the top, very windy. So much so that Max was certain he would be blown off and I wasn’t certain he wouldn’t be. Take the long walk down, though. The tidbits of history presented in posters (in English) at regular levels is well worth the time and energy. No ball playing on the steps, though -- you’re likely to lose the ball.

  By the way, my in-laws met one another at the Eifel just after World War II. In those days, the monument was used as a communications tower by the Yanks and was off limits to everyone else -- unless accompanied by an American serviceman. Abe and an army buddy were seeing the sights, and Sara, the Parisienne, was showing a friend from the south of France around. Those two French hussies picked up the GI’s just for a ride to the top! That’s Sara in the background of Abe’s picture, being photographed by her friend moments before the two met.)

• La Defense. This is the spot. A shopping mall skirts the perimeter above and below ground here. But the terraced area that leads up to the new government building at La Defense is perfect for throwing the ball around. The building itself is yet another in a long line of incredible architectural achievements that regularly cause uproar among the citizenry. The building is literally an open square. We heard Beethoven’s 9th performed live on the steps in front of the open space under the building two summers ago. What an incredible city!

Warren’s Picks of Somewhat Unsung Sights

• The Outdoor Flower and Produce Market at Rue Moufftard. Wander in and out of the shops along this narrow street and find a cafe from which you can watch everyone else do the same.
• Palais Royal. No, no . . . not inside. Go through into the courtyard and play among the black-and-white columns of various heights installed as a work of art (Daniel Buren) in the mid 1980’s. Not a bad place to play ball, by the way, but beware of the open-grated views to the aquaduct below or your ball will join the coins thrown in for good luck. Those kids trying to fish out coins with their long poles, strings with magnets, and plastic conduit pipe will undoubtedly charge you a French arm and a leg to retrieve it.
• Samaritain. This is a multi-building department store just north of the Seine. Built above the main building is an outdoor cafe. Walk upstairs from the cafe and you’ll come to an enclosed circle of roof that has a relief of Paris, France, Europe, and the World ringing the circle. You can look across the great city at the sights and then find out what you’re looking at by checking the photo/relief map in front of you. No ball playing, but what a treat!
• Web Bar (email webbar@imaginet.fr). One of several, I understand -- the internet is big in France, too. At the Web Bar (32, Rue de Picardie), you can log on for 30 francs an hour upstairs or have a meal and a drink downstairs. This building is an interesting one in its own right, having once been a goldsmith’s workshop. Don’t bother looking in the corners, all the gold dust has been swept up -- I checked.
• Pere-Lachaise. The cemetery wherein Oscar Wilde, Edith Piaf, Balzac, Proust, and Collette rest (perhaps fitfully) -- along with thousands of others. It is a small walled city of the dead. Whether Jim Morrison rests there or not is up for grabs. Although he was buried way back when, every Parisian student knows someone whose friend roomed with someone whose cousin has the bones of Morrison’s ring finger in a locket. She got it from directly from the neighbor of a fan who actually knows the kids who plundered his grave -- maybe. If you like this sort of thing, check out the Cimetiere de Montparnasse, too: Baudelaire, Sartre, Dreyfuss, Simone de Beauvoir, and others argue art and politics through eternity.

For Kids?

Anyway, Day Trippers, that’s why it has taken so long to get this up: there are a zillion other things to do round and about Paris. Write me and I’ll give you the rest of the tour. Restaurants, wine bars, jazz clubs, shopping, etc., etc.